"I Am Not I" - "我不再是自己"


I am not I.

I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
who remains calm and silent while I talk,
and forgives, gently, when I hate,
who walks where I am not,
who will remain standing when I die.

My painting was inspired by the poem of Juan Ramon Jimenez "I Am Not I", translated by Robert Bly. Please view a better image at: http://fineartamerica.com/featured/i-am-not-i-xueling-zou.html
Storytelling artist Xueling Zou who works in ♦️ watercolor & ♦️ oil mediums on ♦️ original art Plein Air paintings. Ship worldwide since 2010 @ https://about.me/xuelingzou@ about.me/xuelingzou or http://xueling-zou.pixels.com

Original Art Story

Plein Air @ A Secret Garden Lucie Stern Community Center Palo Alto CA

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Got up with my lower back pain, and it was gray. I hesitated if I should go paint... I made up my mind to go after breakfast, just because it was a new painting location to me. There is always traffic on #101 now, no matter during the rush hour/hours or not. I got caught in it both ways. Felt happy to see that many artists already found their spots to paint after I got there and found this secret garden.   Beautifully designed building in Spanish Mediterranean-style architecture. I tried to find where I could paint, and realized that every turn I might block one of the artist's views. Finally, I stayed near the gateway area and painted this more complicated scene. A Chinese lady painter came back from Hawaii, I met her before padamic. Unfortunately her house was burned down their. She taught me some TaiQi for my back pain and report back on my progress after 2 weeks. She brought her 96-year-old father with her. I saw him sitting on a bench and drawing in the distance, I thou
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Plein Air @ Shoreline Lake Boathouse Mountain View CA 加州風景寫生

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We had high heat for a couple of weeks, so it was very pleasant day at the waterfront. I found a shady spot and painted the Lake boathouse. Actually, I had both Shoreline Lake American Bistro and the Lake Boathouse in my mind.  But the white tent looked more interesting and I thought I would paint the visiters in front of it arriving for kids' summer camp as well. During the time I drew it, I changed my mind, because it was getting complicated.  At the end, I tried to unzip my favorite outdoor painting jacket, but it was stuck.  Worn out I guess after using it for many years.  I had to ask for help from other artists.  Three ladies helped, but could not unzip.  Finally, one of the ladies suggested unzipping it from the bottom, so I was at least able to take it off.   (July 8 2024)
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Plein Air @ home before sunset Bay Area CA

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After a hot summer, suddenly the temperature dropped down, felt like autumn this week. This is scene I see daily. After over a decade I finally decided to paint it. Setting up my workstation, I just drew what I usually saw, then started to paint with watercolors. Because summer was still in my mind, I used a little too much water at the beginning, so the paper kept wet for a long time, especially after sunset. Liked the vegetation over the fence, it was the overrunning green. I thought it could be green plants climbing over the fence. I could not complete the painting, not only was the paper too wet, also I felt cold and it was getting dark. The next day, I did my final touch and finished it. Maybe try another one again in the future, such a convenient spot. (September 19 2024)
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Plein Air @ Joseph D. Grant Park, Mt. Hamilton CA

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Drove through a narrow winding road to the location, I could see this beatiful Santa Clara Valley scene from the hill this fine morning. My first time painting at this location, though I had been there several times before, hiking or just passing by.   I didn't see the old barn that I wanted to paint; it was supporse to be nearby. Found a spot at the shore of the Grand Lake and painted next to an other local artist who was working with oil media. Old oak trees in the distance, California poppies were blooming on the hills, birds singing and catching each other, frogs in the lake... Such a gorgeous spring time, but I knew it was not my typical scene to paint.  Finished the work, walked around chatted with the other artists. Actually,  I found the old barn really was not far from where we were painting, have to come back again. (April 29 2024)
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Plein Air @ a dock in Sausalito CA

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Such a charming harbor town with hills and houses which I always enjoy visiting.  Though it is not close to where I live, we were blessed on Memorial Day, I finially got to paint there. Sometimes you have to give up something to fulfill other ideas. I decided not to ge paddling on my friends' kayaks, watching them having fun in the water, and then struggling on my work. I thought it was worth it, just beacuse I had this idea for so long. Only it was a little chilly and windy (like our winter tempreture), but I was well prepared with my down jacket on. The clouds were dramatic, but I focused on a distant and interesting subject. I didn't even know what to call it Perfect timing, they all came back to shore, and my work was almost done, we had luch together and got to catch up. (May 27 2024)
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Alameda Plein Air Paint Out -19th Annual Event 2024

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This was my fifth time joining the Plein Air Paintout in Alameda. Starting in 2018, because of the pandemic, we missed one year, and I missed the last year. Checked into Richard and Jo's recently-renovated Victorian house after charging my electric car a bit on Sunday night. Nice that I could stay the night before so I didn't have to feel frustrated in freeway traffic, worrying about missing the beginning of the Alameda annual event. There were many nicely done classical still-life paintings hanging on the walls in their house. Found out that Jo is an artist too, Those still-life paintings were hers. Richard started learning watercolors from Margaret at the art center. There was a little drama at the charging station before that. There was a guy occupying one of the two 30-minute charging stations who wouldn't leave. The other was an Asian gentleman who let me charge first, and he was back in the waiting queue. I noticed that the guy had charged past the 30-minutes maxi
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Plein Air @ The Western Shore Redwood City CA

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Besides being caught in not surprising traffic on U.S. Route 101 as usual, it was a nice breezy morning at the location. Walked around and instantly decided to paint those sailboats parked there. Might Be that I didn't paint enough boats at the event in Alameda, it was only ten days ago. It meant that I was physically recovered from exhausted. As an artist, I think that it is very important to be creative. So I decided not to paint all the boats parking in a row, and "moved" the warehouse building behind the three boats I painted. The composition of this painting looked better than exactly what was in front of my eyes. Saw several other artists painted there as well. Only talked a few, they seemed to all have found what they wanted to paint. (August 15 2024)
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Plein Air @ Municipal Rose Garden San Jose CA 加州風景寫生

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Beautiful weather and went back to the Rose Garden in San Jose with a group of locacale artists.  This 5.5–acre Municipal Rose Garden is in full bloom with thousands of roses. It is named "America's Best Rose Garden." I have been here to paint a couple of times as I remember.  I hesitated to decide what to paint in such a lovely place.  I did a water fountain painting and the flowers arches before.   Saw another artist passing by, after chatting a little bit with her, I made up my mind to paint the artches again, and put her into my work. It still felt a little chilly in the shade while I was painting.  Another painter I just met named Allen was giving me a little feedback.  Always nice to hear other's opions. I wonder why I feel tired easier, the pollen made my eyes itchy and sensitive, and my whole body was fighting with it even though I was well protected with mask and sunglasses.  Finished around noon.  (May 13 2024)
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Plein Air @ Downtown Campbell CA

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Rainy season is over, and I should catch up on outdoor painting. Downtown Cambell is one of my favorite places to do Plein Air, at lease I painted here or nearby about ten times so far. Painted with a group of local artists, I took the spot I painted several years ago at the beginning of my oil Plein Air. Sat on a bench in front of Starbucks, I didn't do a small sketch this time. Also I was able to see my car, which was parked in a two-hour parking zone, in case I couldn't finish my work on time. I would have to move my car. Weather suddenly got warm, felt like it went from winter tempretures to summer overnight. It was a good exercise for outdoor painting. (April 22 2024)
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Plein Air @ Allied Arts Guild Menlo Park CA

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I have been thinking to paint at this location for a while. Today was perfect weather for outdoor painters, and I went there to paint with other local artists. Such a gorgeous place.  Each time I had a  hard time deciding where to start my work.  I even went upstairs to see the whole garden from above.  Almost every angle was paintable. Actually, I saw a guy who was doing flower arrangment on his knees.  I asked for his permisssion to take photos. he told me that he did this each Wednesday.  I would love to paint him someday in my studio.  Finally, I decided to paint from a similar spot as my first time painting there. Just like many years ago, there was a class of younger age children singing.  Tlhe teacher kept repeating the same song over and over... I thought I could remember the song, but I only remember the "miao miao miao" of the cat... LOL Some artist started earlier, and some of them were fast painters, they started theirs a little bit ealier before others were done
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