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June 21, 2015

Happy Father's Day! - An Unfinished Still Life "Father Made me a Blue Desk"

This is an unfinished still life painting in honor of my father, I painted for to express the hidden emotions that I wished to express on many Father's Days past.

(Please click the image to enlarge)

The desk no longer exists.  My father made it for me when I was in primary school, and painted with our favorite color blue.  I studied, reading books on this desk till I started high school, also learn drawing and painting for a short while. This painting is from a childhood memory - heavy and painful, clear and cloudy all in one breath.

There are two bamboo pen stands my father carved with his beautiful calligraphy, the smallest one was made for me with his words of love and wish.  The bamboo flute in the stand was my father's instrument that he played once for a while when he was alive.  Luckily, I still have those objects with me.

My father hand carved the two bamboo pen stands.  The smallest one was for me with loving words and best wishes inscribed upon it.  The bamboo flute was my father's instrument that he played once in a while when he was alive.

This painting is my simple yet complicated emotional expression of memory of my deep. true feelings.  I've tried my best not to look back, but it is still so vivid how my father trained me to be independent and strong from a young age.  Seemed he knew that he could leave me earlier than others.  He died suddenly in an accident when I was nine and half years old.

Maybe my faith hasn't reached my parents' expectations.  After experiencing all kinds of emotional struggling, finally I've started to understand that my father wont want me to live in grave deep sorrow because of that accident, and his never returning home.  Never to protect me as I suffered endless horrifying nightmares, injustice and grief.

I promised myself that I would take this painting as far as it would go.  I do all I can to live a strong and positive life.  Happy Father's day!


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